DAY #6 – SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT YOUR PASTOR’S WIFE

Your compliments and encouragement can enhance her ministry. Does your pastor’s wife know that you’re 100% “on her team?” Can she count on you? Can she trust you implicitly. Can she lean on you if needed? 

My husband was the brand new pastor at a church when a deacon wife made this emphatic statement to me: “I don’t even know you yet, but I’ve made a commitment to God that I will never ever say one negative or critical word about my pastor or his wife. You can count on me.”  Sound silly to you? Believe me, it was one of the most wonderful, meaningful statements ever made to this pastor’s wife by a Christian leader in our church. 

Your love, appreciation and encouragement means more than you realize. A joyful pastor’s wife certainly can positively impact your church and your pastor, and words and actions given in love by the wife of a deacon are meaningful to her.  Oh, I know she’s not perfect (but neither are you!)  Respect her , love her, help her as she serves your church with your pastor.

Make a commitment to God today that you will build her up with kind words, complimentary statements and encouragement. 

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“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11

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Find more ideas for deacon wives at Deacon Magazine(LifeWay) and Deacon wives—Fresh Ideas to Encourage Your Husband and the Church (B&H Publishing).

NEXT MONTH:  “31 Days to a Better Women’s Ministry

So your church has called a new pastor…or youth minister or other staff member.  Need an effective way to say “welcome?”

Try this idea! Prepare a notebook of”welcome forms” froma group who will be partners with her in coming days of ministry.

For example, deacon wives could prepare a welcome notebook for the new pastor’s wife. All the youth teachers and leaders could prepare a notebook for the new youth minister. 

Prepare a form similar to this one, but fit the questions to your church and her ministry.

Dear Pastor’s Wife… Welcome!

Deacon wives at ______ church are glad you’re here.

(One form to be completed by each deacon wife)

My Name_________________________________________

You can call me “_____________”

__You can count on me to be your prayer partner, friend, supporter and favorite sister!

 My husband: _____________ 

Children: __________________________________________

Address: ______________________________________(My address is marked on the attached map)

Phone: _________________

Email: _____________________________________________

Employment or interests: ________________________________________

One thing I’m involved in outside the church is ________________________

Something else I enjoy:__________________________________________

My favorite restaurant, bakery or coffee shop in our town:________________

One thing you’ll love about our town: ________________________________

 My favorite ministry involvement in church is  ________________________

My spiritual gift is _____________________________________ (Eph 4:7-12)

A favorite Scripture of mine is: ___________________________

One thing you’ll like about our church: _____________________

The best thing about our church is __________________________________

 Call me when… (just check a few)

___ You need a laugh

___ You need prayer

___ You get lost in town

___ You need a friend

___ You need a babysitter

___ You need a ride to church

___ You want to meet for coffee

___ You want help unpacking boxes

___ You need an encouraging word

___ You forget what time worship begins

___ You need someone to pick up the kids at school

___ You’d like company on a hospital or ministry visit

___ You need to find a ____________________(i.e. doctor, mall, dry cleaner)

___ I’d love to help you with: ____________________________________

(Example:  I work in the school district, like planting flowers, will introduce you to all our homebound members sometime, help you with computer, cooking, decorating, etc.)

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You could distribute the forms by email, asking the participants to email a digital photo to accompany the form.

I was the pastor’s wife in a church with a large ministry staff.  As we added various staff members, we’d prepare a form similar to this to quickly make the staff wife feel welcome.  All our current staff wives would complete the form.

It’s difficult to make a move. Try this simple way to give her a warm welcome.

“I was a stranger and you took me in….” Matthew 25:35

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• Pray for Steve and I as we lead Kentucky Baptist Convention’s Pastor / Deacon / Wives Retreat this weekend in Bowling Green.
• Coming February 1 – Thirty Days to be a better deacon’s wife. Daily blog with simple tips to improve your serve.
• Coming March 1 – Thirty Days to improve your church’s women’s ministry.

Here’s this month’s Fresh Ideas article:

Fresh Ideas for Winter Outreach

Sharing the Savior in the Snow

By Diana Davis

 “He directs the snow to fall on the earth…” Job 37:6

Whether you’re in Houston or Indianapolis, your church may have an occasional opportunity for sharing Jesus in the snow. A few fresh ideas:

We’re Open! Invest in a professional, brightly-colored sign or banner to display outdoors on questionable weather Sundays: “Let it snow! Join us for worship today at 11.”

Biggest Snowman in Kokomo! Build a gigantic snowman on the church lawn during the next big snow. Make a huge black hat, and gather accessories, buckets, snow shovels and ladders. A tree limb arm will hold a big sign: “God loves you snow much! Join us for worship Sunday at 11!” When the white seems right, send an email and phone tree message to invite church members to help. Some may bring trash bags of extra snow, if needed. You’ll enjoy fun Christian fellowship, and it may make the local paper’s front page!

Snow Fam. Build a snowfamily or a row of snowpeople on the church lawn—snowmen, snowgrandpas snowgirls, snowpets and so on. Each snow creature holds a sign inviting passersby to Sunday worship.

Snow Shoveling Party. During extended extreme weather, ask members to join deacons to shovel sidewalks for elderly church members and neighbors. Provide thermoses of hot cocoa for shovelers.   

Snow Soup. For snow parties, everyone brings cans of vegetables to add to huge, steaming soup pots.

Phones and  Escorts. Assign church members to call homebound church members during weather crises to assure their safety. Walk elderly folks to their car on slippery Sundays.

Coat Exchange. It’s like a cookie exchange, but warmer. Ask members to donate outgrown coats, place them on big coat racks, and invite everyone to help themselves. 

Hot Cocoa and Warm Teaching. Advertise a winter Bible study to feature a hot chocolate bar with all the trimmings. 

Mitten Tree. To collect warm socks and mittens for a local benevolence project, roll donated gloves and socks and hang like ornament balls on a tree.

Winter Sports. Take advantage of local opportunities for church-family winter fun, such as snow skiing, snowball wars, ice skating or sledding. Enjoy indoor sports during dreary weather months. Don’t have a gym? Rent a local facility for basketball, bowling, curling or volleyball tournaments. 

 Cancellation Policy. Make a plan for extreme weather cancellations. For example, one church cancels worship only for major power outages or if the governor mandates road closure. Post an announcement on the church’s answering machine and website within two hours of worship.

 God created the summer and the winter.  Praise Him in every season!

 ©Diana Davis is author of Fresh Ideas and Deacon Wives (B&H Publishing). See www.keeponshining.com

Praying that 2010 brings a wonderful year of health, joy and opportunities to serve God in your walk of life.

Here’s one of my favorite ideas for a  party. It’s great for adults, teens, seniors, singles, and it can be varied for almost any time of year. It involves a wild variety of hats, and I’ve given the instructions below. Use it for a long mixer as you begin your party, or make it a whole evening of fun, just doing the hat thing along with whatever else you’ve planned.

Try it with your Sunday School class, small group, church group or other friends.  It’s perfect for a small or large group of people. Use it as a mixer, or let it last through the whole evening.  You’ll be amazed at the “ownership” folks take as they sport their interesting headgear, and it can liven up the calmest group. 

Our family has an interesting assortment of hats we’ve gathered over the years…an indian headdress, a cheese head, tierra, top hats, antlers, cowboy hats, unting hat, fancy ladies’ bonnets and hats, dunce hat, fireman hat, a penguin cap, crazy feather hats, cowboy hats, helmets…dozens of hilarious one-of-a-kind hats. Over the years, we’ve used those to enhance many parties, with the instructions below.  We never announce that the event is a “hat” party–it’s just a surprise when they arrive.

Alternative ideas: You can use New Year’s hats for a New Year’s Eve party. For a Christmas party, you can ask everyone to bring a funny Christmas hat as a gift exchange, play the game all night, then let everyone take the first hat they wore home as a prize. A summer outdoor party could use summertime head gear. Be sure you have plenty of guys hats as well as girls, and avoid too many regular baseball caps, unless it’s a cap party.  Just use your imagination! 

1. As guests arrive, ask each one to select a hat from the assortment near the door and wear it. 

2. Watch people come alive as they converse with one another in their interesting headgear.

3. Every half hour or so, ring a bell and make an announcement about the hats. For example:

- Everyone has thirty seconds to exchange hats with the person nearest you! (You’ll be amazed at how traumatic this is. Many won’t want to give up their hat.)

- Everyone look inside their hat right now. The person with a safety pin inside  their hat wins this fabulous prize! (Use a great prize; that will keep people wearing their hats.) Everyone doesn’t need a prize, but you could continue to whistle every half hour, and award another prize. Some prizes can be nice; others can just be silly. If you’re doing lots of prizes, write specific hats on paper an dput them in a basket to draw out the prize winner as the party progresses, such as the person wearing the elf hat. Do prizes quickly so it’s a welcome interruption. 

- Everyone must select a new hat. Choose your favorite one from someone’s head or take one from the extras at the door. 

- When I count to three, everyone throws their hat in the air, and catches a new one to wear.

- Ring the bell and tell everyone to give their hat to someone who they think could wear it well! You have thirty seconds…go!

Interestingly, we’ve not found an age group that doesn’t enjoy this activity.  We’ve used it as a mixer or during an entire party.  

Here’s a bonus:  every party photo is a treasure!  Enjoy!

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This photo shows what I  found on my dashboard. Here’s the story…

If your church is planning a Christmas brunch or luncheon, here’s a great idea to pamper your guests and share Jesus’ love, too.

I attended the annual Christmas luncheon at Northside Baptist in Indianapolis on Saturday. Your church may already do some version of this event, but members of the church volunteer to host a table for the event. They decorate their table with their Christmas dishes or beautiful paper dishes, centerpiece, favors, etc.  They also recruit their own table server (often her husband or friend) and invite guests to fill the table.  The beauty of this plan is that the luncheon becomes a wonderful outreach event. The music, decor and speaker all led culminated with an explanation of the real meaning of Christmas and God’s plan of salvation.

Here’s the unique idea they added to the  already wonderful event.  Men in the church volunteered to valet guests’ cars. The church driveway was blocked so each car that entered was channeled to the door, so they couldn’t park their own car.  The men had it organized perfectly, with envelopes for each set of keys and a system for finding the cars easily to retrieve them.  Everyone was delighted, of course.

When my car was returned after the luncheon, I found a card on the dashboard.  It was business card sized, and read,

It was a pleasure to see you today!  While parking your car, for you and your family I pray:  “Lord, may you, the God of hope, fill this one and her family with all joy as they trust in you, so they may overflow with hope   by the power of the Holy Spirit.     Romans 15:13.  In Jesus’ name I pray.”    

Now this is a big job, but what a blessing to the recipients! The gift of valeting ladies’ car is sweet, but that blessing card made it a true ministry in His name.  Write your own blessing cards, and show Jesus’ love for a special occasion.

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By the way, check out my article in today’s Baptist Press!

Steve and I will be leading the Kentucky Baptist Convention’s statewide retreat for their pastors, deacons and  wives in January.  Pray with us that it will be a great time of refreshment and encouragement for those important leaders. We’re so looking forward to it!

And if you know a pastor or a deacon in Kentucky, be sure they know about it!  Here’s the link for registration:  Kentucky Pastor-Deacon-Spouse-Retreat

For lots more ideas for your church’s Live Nativity Scene:

See my article printed in Baptist Press today!

(This article will also appear in the next issue of Indiana Baptist.)

(a previously published article by Diana Davis of fresh ideas for your church Thanksgiving celebrations.)

It all began with some comments about turkey. Our church’s annual turkey dinner had grown stale. As one young couple stated, “There’s a limit to how many turkey dinners one can eat in a week!”  It was time to begin a new Thanksgiving tradition.

After dinner, lights were dimmed and the pastor led a meaningful candlelight Lord’s Supper, and we celebrated God’s greatest blessing. He directed the deacons or staff members to administer the elements to those at their table. This simple, solemn ceremony became an anticipated, well-attended tradition. And it was turkey-free. 

Looking for more fresh ideas for Thanksgiving?

A “Pie Squad Party” is a Thanksgiving celebration/ministry event. Partygoers load into cars to joyfully deliver gorgeous homemade pies to every church member who is homebound or living in a nursing home. Each member of the group signs a greeting card to leave with the pie, and after spending a few minutes to encourage and pray for the homebound friends, team members gather back at the church to enjoy the town’s biggest homemade cobbler.

“A Wall of Thanks” is a visual expression of thanks. At the beginning of November, use white paper to cover a focal wall in the church foyer. Invite church members of all ages to use markers or paints to artfully express thanks to God all month long.

“Seeking Thanksgiving” is a mystery van trip where vehicles packed with church members follow a map to several prearranged locations to discover and celebrate God’s blessings. Recruit church members with large vehicles to drive, and ask them to enhance its exterior with Thanksgiving decor and a “Seeking Thanksgiving” sign.

Carefully select Christians in your church who have been uniquely blessed or protected by God this year, and ask them to host a mystery stop, where carloads of church members will make a brief visit to celebrate God’s blessings. Your pastor may have ideas of very thankful members. Some examples:

• a couple with a new baby
• a homebound senior adult rocking on her porch
• a brand new Christian at his home
• a college student in her dorm
• a hospitalized member who can receive guests
• a recent immigrant

Each thankful person awaits the visitors, holding a large picket-type sign that reads “I’m thankful!”  Groups take a photo with them, encourage and pray with them, then return to the church for refreshments and fellowship.

After all, there’s more than just turkey to a great Thanksgiving season.

I’ll add another article of ideas later this week!

More ideas:                          

[I know it's just October, but if your church is planning to do a live nativity scene, it's time to get busy!  I'll post several tips on this subject, and my newest Fresh Ideas article on this topic will be in November's issue of the Indiana Baptist and Baptist Press.]

Here’s a different version of a live nativity scene your church may enjoy.

Instead of one large live nativity scene, we created six smaller stops, each telling a different part of the nativity story. Artists in our church painted large murals on hinged plywood, and each one was based on a Christmas carol. They looked sort of like giant Christmas cards.  We staged a few live characters at each one and created a “drive-through” path for cars.

As cars arrived, they roll down their window to receive steaming hot chocolate, a printed invitation to worship with us next Sunday, and a CD. The CD was prepared to play the carols as they drove through. 

Funny, but the year we did this event, we had a rare hard freeze in Houston TX. We went ahead with the event, but shortened the length of shifts for characters.  We had record numbers of cars, and God blessed in a major way. We lovingly called that event our Frozen Christmas Carols.

More tips for live nativity scenes to come!

My husband had a big round-number birthday. We celebrated that day with our daughter and son-in-law, watching the Colts football game on television. The celebration at his office was a little more animated! 

We’d planned for all the staff to arrive at work with canes, walkers, etc. 

They decorated a birthday chair (wheelchair) for Steve, and he used it all day–even conducted staff meeting from it! 

The birthday cake had over 100 candles on it (don’t tell Steve), and after he spent several minutes trying to light them all, a “fireman” arrived to stop the safety hazard!

It was a fun day, and at the end of it, he’s one day older. 

Happy birthday, Steve.